Like a sultry dame, they caught my eye, wet my lips, and stole my heart faster than I could even finish a glass of their amazing fermented beverage.  Although it isn’t distributed here in Kentucky (Gosh, I write that a lot about the beers I drink), I had to get it in Chicago and Denver, CO.   Uinta (out of UTAH of all damn places) has developed a Crooked Line series consisting of bombers of some of their more unique and higher ABV beers.  Here is what they have to say about them:

“In desire of creating a different experience in beer, Uinta launched its Crooked Line in 2010. These beers were dubbed “big beers” both in taste, alcohol content and size of bottle. Crooked Line beers are packaged in 750 ml bottles and are cork finished. Ranging from 9 to over 13% alcohol by volume, the intention was that these beers would be shared, as one would a bottle of wine, with friends and paired with food. Some beers are aged in oak, whiskey or bourbon barrels for up to six months prior to reaching the market. Knowing that each beer was quite different from the next, it was essential that each brew showcased its individuality outside the bottle as well. Uinta sought the talents of local artists to design the labels, assuring that each style was unique in packaging as well as in style and taste”

One of them, Labyrinth Black Ale, took the coveted prize of the best beer I had last year.  It comes in at a shade over 13% and has aged in oak barrels giving it a nice black licorice and oak aroma.  I went nuts for this beer at the Great American Beer Festival and filled my glass up at least three times.  I’m pretty sure I couldn’t have said the ABC’s backwards at that point.

Another one of the Crooked Series I picked up in Chicago last fall was the Cockeyed Cooper Barrel Aged Barleywine.  Bottled on 7/20/2011, this barleywine had 10 months of age on it and I was itching to try it, knowing I’d be back up in Chicago next month and could buy more.  So last night, after a run and about ready to get my hands dirty in the garden, I cracked this mother of a beer.

Another cool thing about the Crooked Series is that all local artists create the labels. The label for Cockeyed Cooper was created by Travis Bone, a Cubs fan, nonetheless and has an eerily similar appearance to the cartoon cooper.

I will note that those who drink their beer in appropriate glassware outside risk having a few bugs make their way into the glass. Cooper comes in at 11% ABV and the booze hides well amongst the strong aromas of vanilla and brown sugar with a slight hint of oak.  The first couple sips were a little on the “flat side”, but as the beer warmed, the taste reminded me of a boozy crème soda with a bourbon chaser.  Not as malty as other big barleywines, the tastes all melded together in a beautiful concoction of bourbon barrel heaven.  I ended up savoring this beer over a two and a half hour span, enjoying every sip I could until I can taste it again in June.

My buddy Jim at Beer and Whiskey Bros writes for the TODAY Show’s blog and included me on a recent post.  Check it out.  I fully expect truckloads of Smuckers jelly arriving at my door.

Today Show Post

I recently went to a Bell’s Black Note Stout Tasting with Hipster Steve, you can read it here.

Deviant Dales Review as well.

Although it’s up for debate, coffee and alcohol can be very addictive substances. Addictive in the sense, that we crave one prior and one after a long day of work or a stressful workweek. I guess work can be a correlate of our addictions, but alas, causation cannot be directly determined. When taken in the appropriate amounts though, they provide bountiful pleasures to ones mind and body. When taken in inappropriate amounts, things can start to get real shitty, real fast. Pun intended. A poop joke, what did you expect…I’m getting ready to talk about Against the Grain!

So before I headed down to Kentucky Lake for 3 days of fishing, I swung into Against the Grain Brewery to snag a growler of Heine Big Bro (13% ABV at $13 a growler), their new imperial oatmeal stout. Here is how the fellas at ATG describe the beer:

Louisville roasted Heine Bros. espresso was hot extracted pre-fermentation, and Mary Catherine’s blend was cold extracted and added post-fermentation to give this beer an aggressive bitterness as well as a delicate yet pronounced coffee flavor and aroma. We started this imperial oatmeal stout with a massive amount of high quality Maris Otter malt and added an array of specialty malts including oats, roasted barley, and very dark caramel munich. Hefty additions of British hops early in the boil make for a powerful bitterness to balance the high malt sweetness. If your soul stays black, even in the sun, this beer is for you.

The worst part about heading to a majority of the bodies of water in Kentucky, especially Western KY, is that a decent amount of counties are “dry”. Knowing this, I always plan ahead and bring my own share of beer and some extras to share with the rest of the fishing guys to try to introduce them to craft beer. I will acknowledge that these guys are your typical Light beer drinking blue-collar guys, but they tend to always imbibe in the “strong” beer that I bring to test their pallets. So I cracked open the Hill Farmstead growler and poured the beer into the best-looking beer glass the lower-rate hotel had to offer. Now that I think about it, I should have brought my own glass…and slept on top of the covers.

Potent stuff. Coffee and bitterness were the first things which came to mind, followed by a slight roast characteristic.

Guy 1: “Whatcha drinking there, mind if I get some”

Me: “Nope. Go for it.”

Guy 2: “Hey man, can I get some of that too”

Guy 3: “Let me try some. Did you make this stuff?”

Me: “Nope, it’s from Against the Grain Brewery. It’s the new brewery in Slugger Field. Good stuff man, you should check it out. The owners are pretty cool.

Guy 1: “This is powerful stuff. You can really taste the coffee in the beer. That’s crazy.”

Guy 2: “Oh man, what do you call this stuff again. Stout?”

One glass went down way to quick. I quickly poured another and noted my growler was about half gone. The coffee bitterness stick to my tongue like a metal pole in the winter. On the second glass, the smooth chocolate taste came out from the roasted barley and oats. For 13%, the booze factor isn’t apparent…hidden quite well. Although ATG’s London Balling is tough to beat as far as my favorite beer of theirs goes, Heine Big Bro comes in a close second. If it’s still on tap, head down to there to check it out.

By the time I went to pour myself a third glass, the growler was empty. Mission accomplished, I’ve helped spread the word of good beer…and got a slight buzz while doing it.

Upland Komodo Dragon Black IPA (6.5% ABV): Roast bomb, but where the hell did the hops go?  Granted it was brewed in November but I drank this in early February.  This tastes just like a roasty porter.  Black IPA fail.  You let me down Upland, you let me down.  I had somewhat high expectations for the beer.  What’s worse is I picked it up at Whole Foods so it was probably more expensive than anywhere else.  Crap.

Anchorage Brewing Brewing Co. Bitter Monk (9% ABV): My buddy Stephen brought this over during a tasting.

I had my premonitions since I’m not a big fan of Belgians or Brett.  This beer is a Belgian Style DIPA aged in French Oak Chardonnay Barrels.  So I don’t like Brett, Belgians, or many things aged in wine barrels…hmm.  I went into this beer like going to the dentist, knowing good things weren’t going to come from this.  I took a hearty backhand that day. Crisp. Sweet. And the color and pour of the beer really make it worth it.  Not a gulping beer at all.  Although it was “winter”, I could see this beer being one that would linger great during a summers day.  Good work Hitron.  Damn fine beer.

Yazoo Brewing Sue (9.5% ABV): Sue, how do you do?  An Imperial Smoke Porter coming outta Nashville, TN.  The beer represents the city well with enough smoke in the beer to fill a country music bar.  I’ve never really tried smokey beers, but I felt like I was messing with Sasquatch because the beer had a strong smoked beef jerky taste to it.  Mmm fried meat and beer all in one.  The smoke really lingered on the tongue which reminded me of kissing someone who smokes, but in a good way…not an ashtray way.  Like my wife after St. Patricks Day a year ago.   This beer threw me for a loop and I loved it.

No sleep, til Brooklyn!  It’s been almost a year since I last had Brooklyn Black Ops Imperial Stout (10.7% ABV).  Last time, it was the thinnest, most bubble gum tasting stout I’ve ever had.  The $21 dollar price tag made me cringe with each sip.  So it’s sat in the back of my cellar like a shamed dog, waiting for it’s chance to do something right.  Would a year make it better or would the champagne yeast still need more time.  Result, better, but not by too much.  A little more carbonation and mouth feel to the beer, but still unimpressed.  More chocolate notes came out in the beer, but still not worth the $21 pricetag.  Looks like my last bottle will have another year to sit and think about how crappy its been.

Lawson’s Finest Maple Imperial Stout- The beer cost me about $15, then an extra $35 to get all of it on the flight…so it better be friggin good for all the hype Lawson gets.   Ashley and I shared this and I had all hopes it would taste like Founders Canadian Breakfast Stout.  Close, but no cigar.  That’s two cigar references and I don’t smoke unless I’m celebrating a birth or bachelor party.  I don’t need either anytime soon.  Very boozy and warm with just hints of maple lingering on the tongue.  Not a lot of sweetness or overpowering sugar flavor to the beer.  I honestly thought it was kinda plain for an imperial stout.  Crap.  Maybe I didn’t pair it with the right foods. Oh well.  Aunt Jemima shakes her head in Condiment Heaven.

3 Floyds and Mikkeller- Broogoop

Broogoop is a buckwheat wine style beer beer. It was O-tay.

Goose Island- King Henry

Typically, when there is a line out the door for a beer, it usually means there is either a lot of hype, it’s supposed to be good, or craft beer geeks are just really that lame.  Only two apply.  King Henry kinda flew under the radar outside of the Chicago area with only a few samplings of places here in Louisville selling it.  And when it was sold, you had to ask because it was behind the counter.  Crazy ass beer geeks.  The beer pours a darker brown color, unlike your typical by-the-book barleywines.  Hands down, best barleywine I have ever had it my life and it wasn’t even aged in the bottle for very long (well despite the bourbon barrel aging).  I went into this beer with no expectations and was amazing with how sweet, boozy, bourbony and smooth this beer was.  Some heat, but not overwhelming.  I nursed this like a young pup.  I’d tell you to go get some, but you can’t since its gone.

He’Brew Vertical Jewbelation 14

OJ Simpson…not a jew, but this beer is quite a tasty brew!  A mixed blend of their 8-14 Jewbelations and then aged in a Sazerac Rye Whiskey Barrel.  I love this beer, Stephen didn’t. He sucks. Respect the power of the Schwartz man.  This beer tasted and smelled like a shot of caramel bourbon.  Loved it.

Founders Curmudgeons Better Half

read it here.

Odell Woodcut #5 Belgian Quad

Why not celebrate finishing Comps but with a $26 beer.  Was it worth the $26? No. Was it pretty tasty, yes.  You’re growing on me Belgians…you’re growing on me.  Lots of places gave it so-so reviews and their were complaints about a loss of carbonation.  As you can see in the picture, not here.  Tons of carbonation and darker fruits, smooth sipping, and sticky.  I drank it before at GABF, but won’t be shelling out anymore $$ for the series.

Boulder Beer Killer Penguin 2010

This beer has been staring at me in the cellar saying drink me.  I cannot think of this beer without being reminded of the classic film, Billy Madison.  Oh, silly Penguin.  The booziness has mellowed along with some of the malts, doesn’t stay on your tongue as much.  Hops have been overtaken by a syrupy sweetness.  This beer was good, but didn’t mix well with the Irish Car Bomb taken prior.  Happy St. Paddys Day.  Stupid being Irish. Ugh.

2010 and 2011 KBS

What a difference in aging.  2011 lost all of the coffee and is all bourbon and chocolate.  2011 is like a barista’s pants at Starbucks, coffee everywhere.  Wait what, this stuff is almost $25 for a 4 pack.  Wait what, it sold out pretty fast.  Wait what, this stuff is friggin awesome.  It says Kentucky on the beer, what else do you need? My all-time favorite beer suckas.

Expresson Oak Aged Yeti

The wife brought this back from her trip to Michigan on a whim.  What an awesome wife, it made her even more awesome when I saw it was 2010.  Still yeti-size proportions of coffee up front with a nice dark chocolate bite.  I only think she got this beer cause she was so flirtatious with the Great Divide guys at GABF. Hussy!

Drakes Hopocalypse Black Label

You don’t see many triple IPAs around much.  Maybe Founders Devil Dancer is the only other triple IPA I’ve ever had since it borders on a barleywine category.  My buddy Jay sent me this along with a regular Hopocolypse a month or so ago after I had sent him a shipment of beers.  The beer is an orange creamsicle malt bomb with huge citrus notes on the nose.  The beer smelled friggin fantastic.  I could probably call this one of the dankest IPAs I’ve ever had that Bob Marley would be proud.  Like most of my bombers, I shared with the wife.  She approved.  Drakes make a damn fine IPA.

In the meantime, check out louisvillebeer.com for some awesome local beer news.

Breakfast wasn’t an option after the meal I had eaten the night prior, so I headed back to Mad River to start packing for our New Years rendezvous at Loon Mountain in New Hampshire.  I finished packing and made plans to meet Ashley and the skiers down at the Mad River basebox for lunch and a few beers.  Normally, they have a Lawson’s Finest on tap, but it wasn’t ready yet so I stuck to an Otter Creek Black IPA.  The first actual Black IPA I had ever tasted last year.  After that, I went with a Smutty Finest Kinda IPA and then decided I had better lay off since I had a nice drive ahead of me.

After refusing to take a map and atlas from the mother-in-law (that was a great conversation), we said goodbye to Mad River and hit the road.  The windshield wipers still didn’t work for shit either.  Awesome.  When we got into New Hampshire, we entered in the Kancamagus Highway which took us through the White Mountain National Park.  This would have been cool, but it was flippin dark out so I couldn’t see anything.  I was afraid of either hitting a moose or driving off the mountain.  I’m still 0-fer in seeing a moose in New England.  I’m starting to believe I have the same chance of seeing a damn Bigfoot.

We got to Loon Mountain around 7pm and swung by a sandwich shop/gas station to get some food for the weekend.  Hands down, the best gas station beer selection I had ever seen.  There was a complete aisle of bombers and another of six packs.  With a trunk full of beer and a foot tapping wife, I passed on grabbing anything else. The ski condo we stayed at was pretty damn legit.  Enough rooms for each couple and friggin zebras hand-painted on the bathroom wall.  After eating and relaxing for a bit, we started to crack some beers and bourbon.

The first was Rock Art Hop Harvest Ale.  Harvest Ale in December.  Pretty faded.  The hops faded like an old pair of jeans.  Beer one was down for the night.  After this, I cracked a bottle of Everett (Hill Farmstead) with Ashley.  Just like the previous nights, stellar as usual.   Best, simple, great tasting beer of the trip.

After a few beers, we decided to open up my bottle of Elijah Craig 18 year.  I hadn’t heard much about the bourbon, but good god, if you can find it, get it NOW!  One of the smoothest bourbons I’ve had this year.  It was in the recycling bin the next morning.

On New Years Eve, myself and fellow homebrewer/beer lover, Bryan, went to Woodstock Inn and Brewery for lunch, a few beers, and to meet up with my buddy Ron and his daughter.  We had a few of the beers that are only offered at the pub (blech), but we needed to get back to start preparing for the New Years Eve celebration.  Oh, did I mention Bryan brought two kegs, with one being his imperial stout aged in a Sam Adams Utopia barrel.  When we got back, we went ahead and opened the Double Galaxy and the Twilight (Porter with Vanilla and Coffee) from Hill Farmstead.  Bryan was pretty impressed with the Double Galaxy.  After plowing through that, we went for Twilight and just sat on the couch and relaxed.  No vampires or werewolves were in sight.  After we emptied the growler, we moved on to Bryans’ Imperial Stout and all quickly realized it was 6 pm and had six more hours to go until the new year, Dick Clark be damned.

So what did we do?  We went ahead and opened a 2010 (or maybe 2009) Alesmith Speedway Stout.  I drink your milkshake!  The beer tasted like a friggin awesome chocolate milkshake.  It was like drinking a bowl of melted chocolate ice cream.  This milkshake brought the boys to the yard.

With a new year upon us the next morning, it was time to head back to Kentucky.  The trip was long, eventful, and tiresome…I was ready to go home.  We packed up our luggage and I carefully packed a box of beers to fly home with us.  Southwest gave me a little guff on the first flight, but I followed the rules this time and was hoping for a smooth check-in.  Or so I thought.

When I arrived at the check-in, I told them I had beers in the box and the lady told me I wasn’t going to be able to fly with them. Bullshit, I thought.  I told her what the Southwest agent said in Louisville and how I had packed the beers correctly.  She then told me I could only take two bottles.  You’re kidding me right?  I made up some arbitrary number and told her there was like $327 dollars of beer in the box.  Notice how I said the box, they never checked our suitcases that were full of beer.  Suckers.  Also, if I would have bought $327 worth of beer, I’d be divorced.  After the rep spoke with a few more people and told me she was a beer lover herself, she allowed me to take the beers but I had to repackage them all correctly and put them in a nice shiny Southwest bag I paid $35 for.  I’m sure all the people in line hated me.  I was almost sick to my stomach knowing the beer I had worked to find was possibly going to be wasted.  It was worth it though.

And that’s that.  It’s friggin February 15th and I’m finally done. I suck.